Thursday, May 31, 2012

Goodbye, familiar things. (38 weeks!)

A week from today, we will be a family of four.  I absolutely can't wait to meet our little girl, but the whole idea of what we're facing is seriously scary.  It's amazing how fast this pregnancy has gone, especially from 21 weeks on, when we got The Diagnosis.  Today was my last MFM appointment, which was completely uneventful.  It was pretty weird checking out and not scheduling a follow-up.  Everybody from the sonographer to the doctor to the check-out chick was wishing me luck (what is luck, anyway?) and requesting pictures once Bee is born.  Nice folks.  And once I left, their niceness, combined with The End of MFM Appointments, got me all teary-eyed.  I made a little stop by the yarn store to drown my sorrows  in wool and organic cotton (shout out to all my fellow knitters, especially those on Ravelry).
Tomorrow is my last day of work for quite awhile.  I have to admit that I'm pretty much checked out mentally, so hopefully none of my patients tomorrow require any advanced cognitive skills.  I warned Sarah (super friend and office-mate) that if anybody is too nice to me tomorrow, I'm going to cry.  I'll probably cry all day anyway.    It's a weird feeling knowing that, no matter what happens with Bee, I'm going to be a different person on the other side of all this.  Hopefully for the better, but definitely different.
Tomorrow is also Henry's last day of daycare until we get back in town.  I've tried to explain this to him but, you know, he's not even two years old.  I might as well be trying to teach him the fundamental theorem of calculus (I was a nerd in a former life).  Even though he doesn't get it, I know he's going to miss his friends and his sweet and wonderful teachers.  I know kids are resilient and adaptable etc etc, but taking him from his familiar routine hurts my heart.
Sorry for the disjointed post.  Just felt like y'all needed a little update, I suppose :)
To close, I'll leave you with a couple verses from Psalms that I believe are for our sweet baby Bee:

I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.
My body rests in safety.

~Psalm 16:8-9


  1. WE are praying for you guys. I know how you feel. Of course I have been there. Trust and lean with everything you got on our heavenly father. He has got you in all of the good and bad. Hang in there. It will be hard but God will and always does something amazing in all of us that will sustain you the whole time. We will be following you along in this journey praying you on. If you need anything don't hesitate to contact us. God has got this!!!
    Rhonda and Jason Holtrop (angel Esther)

  2. Following your journey from baby Jude's site. Take care and prayers are with you all. Your faith will keep you strong. Just take one day at a time.

    Signed Mimi Debby, a stranger from Texas, but a recent new grandmother and mother of a 32 year old son born with Spina Bifida.

  3. You just rest and enjoy this last week as a family of 3! I understand your fears, but as Rhonda said, God will give you strength that makes absolutely no sense at the time. We are praying so hard for you! I will be blog and Facebook stalking for updates :-) Much love fo Bee from Parker!

  4. Many prayers for a smooth birth and great start for Baby Bee!!
    Mom to Dakota 12-25-2008
    RCDH survivor